Gym vs Home

All day I've been thinking of working out again. Super proud of myself that I got dressed, laced up my sneakers, and drove to the gym. Unfortunately, a huge traffic jam forced me turn back around. But that didn't stop me! I dusted off a home workout DVD (ENVYgirls) and followed through. Since I wanted to work out my legs and glutes, I specifically played the buns and legs of envy. 

Guys, I couldn't even finish both work outs. I struggled through the buns, with a couple breaks, and cut the legs short. I was dripping in sweat and felt that I got a more instense work out then I did from the gym the night before! In fact I got less points from Fitocracy for today then yesterday. 

But I can say, that according to My Fitness Pal app, I did burn more calories today then yesterday. I'm just glad that I followed through with the work out today, and didn't let my all time nemesis procrastination take over. If it did, I would have felt guilty and like a failor.

So where do you get a more effective/intense work out? Gym or home? 

As I enjoy my picadillo, stay healthy lil coquis. ;)

-Tati

Exercise is my drug

So usually when I get anxious, nervous, stressed, or upset I look towards food to make me feel better. More specifically, sweets. Any kinds of sweets, whether it be cakes, cookies, or my fave- ice cream. I'm trying to change things up and rely on healthy outlets to deal with those emotions.

Yesterday, I was stressed and feeling anxiety for several reasons and decided I will work out instead of eating my feelings away. I went off to my gym, did some cardio and upper body strength training, and am so glad that I did! Was able to relieve some stress, got rid of the anxiety, and felt accomplished as I walked out the gym. Once I imputed my work out into Fitocracy, I became even more proud of how many points I accumulated. 

On top of a great work out, I had an amazing day with my eating and keeping my macronutrients in check. That hardly ever happens, especially with my carb and protein intake. I'm trying to remember these kinds of emotions and accomplishments (no matter how small) so I can use it to motivate me on days where I'm lacking that fire to continue with my plan. 

Look how happy I look after a work out! God help me keep up my plan for better health. 

Till next time

-Tatiana

It's been a while...

I believe my last post was about 5 months ago. And since then, I have fell off the horse and gained all the weight I have lost. I'm back up to 192, and am desperately getting back on the horse. A lot has happened in those 5 months; work, getting back into school, religion, art, etc. With my health going on the back burner for so long, I feel awful. Disgusting even, and frustrated with myself. I do this cycle all the time, and I have tried all kinds of ways to stay motivated and not fall off the horse. I've tried paying a gym membership, visually tracking pounds I've lost, rewards, just about everything you can think of, and I still fall off. I thought with all the health news/scares I received in February, it would be motivation enough to keep up with fitness and health. Apparently, it wasn't. 

My PCOS is still present, and now I'm at risk for cervical cancer. I'll be hearing about my results in a couple of weeks, so I'll update then on the topic. Acquiring the knowledge for my health, and falling off track (way off), I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. Especially with my frustrations of not being successful, and my impatience with working towards that success. It's to a point where you could either get way worse and not care about your life anymore, or finally put on those running shoes and begin to walk towards better health. 

It's weird how about a year and a half ago, I had more motivation to loose weight (I dropped down from 215+ to about 175) because I was being vain. It was all about, looking amazing since I was newly single. Now, I'm not single (although I met my boyfriend at that 170 weight range), but have legit health reasons to loose weight and little motivation. I don't get it. 

I had a recent conversation with my mother about this very problem of mine. Her response was that I have commitment issues. This led to a bit of an argument, cause how could she say that?! I'm super committed; to my boyfriend, my job, commitment doesn't scare me! But the more I think about it, the more I see her point. I have a problem with committing to myself. I treat myself, like that douche bag boyfriend I had years ago treated me. I put myself down, I cheat on myself, I manipulate myself for the worse, and am lazy in the relationship. This is awful, this is an epidemic! Now I don't know if this past relationship was the cause for this cycle (even the serious yo-yo weight happened around that time), because I've had self esteem issues since years before him. But maybe, the self-esteem issues, douche-bag ex, combined with a need for validation from the opposite sex are the reasons why I have commitment issues with myself? I say I'm loosing weight for me, but now that I think about it, was I really? 

This recent revelation has caused me too look for more reading materials and posts on the subject of committing to oneself. How do you commit to yourself? What does committing to yourself mean for you? What does that entail? Where else do you get your motivation from? What tips do you have for those who are lacking in healthy motivation? These are questions I'm trying to answer and maybe your two cents can help. 

I look forward to reading what you all have to say. And here's to working on the relationship with ourselves.  

Tati